VIZMAN'S METALLICA PAGE HAS BEEN INDEFINITELY DISMANTLED AND IS NOT BEING UPDATED.

I thank all of you that have visited my site in the past, but I have indefinitely destroyed it, and perhaps the following will explain why. (Note: I wrote this upon the release of St. Anger and haven't updated it since, just in case there's any discrepencies with anything said here.)

AN OPEN LETTER TO JAMES, LARS, KIRK, AND ROB OF METALLICA

To Metallica: There are many questions which need answering, so please read this entire letter.

I have stuck with Metallica for years, shunning the derision of anti-Metallica fans and X-Metallica fans who upheld the idea that you had sold out. I stuck with you through Load and Reload, two albums that people accused of being too mellow and not metal enough. I stuck with you through the Napster fiasco, upholding your views as just. I fought to defend the fact that anti-Metallica fans were nothing but ridiculous malcontents that had no true arguments against you.

For years I anticipated a new album, and when the date came near, you informed the world that St. Anger would be a return to the old school ways, a revamping of your image and the best album since KEA.

Then the album came out.

Hmmm.

You're kidding right? This is what I waited for for 5 years? This is what you call Metallica? This is what you call music that equates with KEA and AJFA?

I listened to the first 3 songs. "Ok," I thought. "Any minute now, Hammett's going to start doing something." Four more songs past...still nothing. Starting to get nervous, I checked my car stereo, making sure everything was functioning properly. "Lars drumming couldn't possibly be this bad," I thought. Then the cd reset and the first track played again. I sat for a moment in somewhat of a daze.

This was supposed to be your comeback to metal? Why didn't Kirk do anything in the entire album? Why was there no trademark guitar work? Why did Lars sound like he was beating an empty trashcan instead of a snare drum? Why did the album sound like it was produced by a complete amateur?

Have you really stooped this low, Metallica?

Even when I heard of the horrendously shitty bands you had chosen to play with you on the Sanitarium tour (eg Limp Fucknut, Linkin Crap, etc), I gave you a chance. Why are you touring with rap bands? Why are you trying to reach the wrong audiences? Why are you endorsing bands that couldn't play a decent song to save their lives?

But most importantly, why is St. Anger so horrificly terrible? Look back twenty years ago. Look at how you were in your youth. If I went back in time and played this album for your younger selves, would you really approve of it? How can you live with yourselves knowing that you can no longer even compose a guitar solo anymore?

There is one thing you could have done to redeem yourselves from the travesty that is St. Anger: you could have dropped the name Metallica and rennamed the band, then formed Metallica again and recorded a real album.

There is no excuse for how horrible St. Anger is and you should be ashamed of yourselves for creating such an anti-thesis to the creative muscial vision you created so long ago.

You, Metallica, taught the world what real metal was. If it weren't for you, we would still be listening to hair bands and hippy music. You ushered in a grand new era and created something special.

And now, you have destroyed your own vision. I'm sure the money is fucking great, but you sold your souls to get it. All the money in the world cannot cover the filth that you have defecated upon us. I still refuse to stoop to the level of calling you "sell outs." You are something worse than sell outs. Something I can't even find a word for.

It's pitiful that this is what you have become, and as a long-time Metallica fan, it pains me to say that. But it pains me more to have witnessed it.

You were once musicians. You are no longer. You were once creative. You are no longer. You were once worth defending. You are no more. You were once visionaries. You are no more. You were once worth paying attention to. You are no more. You were once distinctive from an otherwise pathetic genre of uninventive and brainless, generic rock music. You are no more.

You have destroyed your image beyond repair, and now there may be nothing you can do to redeem yourselves. Correction: there is something you can do. Just follow these instructions.

(Note: I wrote this when the album was released, so it's out of date, but the general ideas still hold true.)

FIRST: stop endorsing gay-ass rap and nu-metal bands from the bills of your tours. Limp Bizkit and Linkin Park are the worst things to drip out of the ass of the music world in over 10 years. If you must, play alone, because you'll still make just as much money in tour values.

SECOND: [outdated] Stop all production of St. Anger albums. The album's already been out for days, so the damage is done, but you can still help...

THIRD: [outdate] Go back into the studio, delete all the songs.

FOURTH: Fire Bob Rock and hire someone who knows what he's doing, because obviously Bob had his eyes and ears closed on this one.

FIFTH: Keep the ideas for the songs you had, just adjust Lars' snare drum so it doesn't sound like he's beating a damn trashcan.

SIXTH: Write some creative music like you used to even as late as Load and Reload. Give Kirk something to do. You can't tell me for one minute that the man who plays the solos on Jump in the Fire, One, and Dyers Eve can't even compose ONE new original guitar solo relevant to the music.

KIRK, YOU USED TO BE A GREAT GUITAR PLAYER. WHAT IN THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU??? NOT EVEN ONE GOOD GODDAMM LICK ON THE NEW ALBUM??? NOT EVEN ONE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

SEVENTH: Write a formal apology to the entire metal community for releasing an album like St. Anger, and top off the apology by releasing the REAL album that you created by following my steps.

EIGHTH: Get rid of that stupid punk image you have. You don't have to grow your hair back, but for God's sake, you're not angst-ridden teenagers. Keep what remains of your dignity and stop acting like nu-metal mallrats just to impress other nu-metal mallrats.

Good God. I can't believe what you have done, Metallica. That's all I'm going to write. I usually go out on a rigid and uncensored outrage when I write essays like this, but your crime is so horrendous, that you're not worth another moment of my time. I realize you are getting up in age, and you don't have the energy or desire to perform like you did back in your metal days, but instead of embarrassing yourselves the way you have been the past several year, maybe it's time to THROW IN THE TOWEL already. It has become overwhelmingly obvious that you can't and won't go out gracefully or retain your dignity, so please just quit now...put an end to the ridiculous farce you are living. Please.

Thanks for reading. Now fix the ungodly mess you have made.

--Vizman

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